How to write a eulogy: a gentle step-by-step guide
By the speechwriters.ai editorial team · Last updated
A calm, practical guide to writing and delivering a eulogy at a funeral or memorial service, with a simple structure and example lines.
Start by gathering
Ask family and friends for one memory each. You don't have to use them all; you're looking for details that make people nod and say "that was so them."
A simple structure
- Opening: who you are and your relationship.
- A short life overview: where they grew up, work, family. One minute, no more.
- Three or four stories that show their character.
- What they leave behind: values, habits, people.
- Farewell: a direct goodbye, a reading or a favorite saying.
Example lines
- "Dad believed every problem could be fixed with duct tape and a pot of coffee. He was usually right."
- "Grandma never let anyone leave her house hungry, including the UPS driver."
- "Mom, thank you. We'll take it from here."
On the day
- Print it in 16-point type with wide margins.
- Arrange a backup reader who has a copy, in case you can't continue.
- Pausing is fine. Everyone in the room is on your side.
- Gentle humor is welcome at most American services; check with the family and the officiant.
Our outline tool can turn your memories into a timed structure in a minute.
Frequently asked questions
How long should a eulogy be?
Three to seven minutes, about 400–900 words. Ask the funeral director or officiant whether there's a time limit.
Is it okay to use humor in a eulogy?
Yes, when it reflects the person. A funny, loving story often brings real relief.
What if I break down while speaking?
Pause, breathe, sip water. If you can't go on, your backup reader can finish.
Who usually gives the eulogy?
A close family member or friend, sometimes several people. Clergy may give a separate homily.
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- Best man speech: a structure that works, with examples
- Rehearsal dinner toast: what to say and who gives one
- Father of the bride speech: structure and sample lines
Get your structure in a minute
Our free tool turns your stories into a timed outline with three opening lines.